Wednesday, May 6, 2015

goodbye gluten

Last week I got diagnosed positive for celiac disease.  I was 100% in the pits when my doctor told me the news ... I immediately started thinking of everything I wouldn't be able to eat, how my life style would have to change, how I would have to start reading EVERY label, how i needed to go buy a new toaster, etc. ... the negative flooded my head.  After all the news I've received within the last month from my doctor ... quite honestly, I never want to see my doctor again ... HA! 

Let's back up a month ... I went for my annual physical (which let's face it means ... every hmmm 4-5 years for an annual ... haha maybe I should fix that!) I was having concerns because I wasn't getting my cycle on a regular basis ... So my doctor, being amazing as she is, decided to be thorough and send me for testing ... now when I say testing I mean ... let's mark off every box on your requisition form and take about 1000 litres of blood!  She also sent me for an ultrasound ... this is what confirmed that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).  Now this is kind of where the negative thinking started ... I check off every box for every side effect of PCOS ... why me ... why ... sigh.  This doesn't mean I'm dying so I shouldn't be bummed right?  But I still am ... there are a lot of things that can go wrong having this ... I am higher risk for things that really anyone could get ie. heart disease, weight gain, blood sugars, cholesterol ... really, things everyone has to be aware of ... I just have to be even more aware of it.  Infertility is a big one with PCOS ... not that I'm even thinking about kids right now ... but for someone who has always wanted to be a mom ... huge bummer that this could be the case.  It's not for sure, but the chances are higher. 

Really all I'm trying to say here is, I'm scared and worried and these are all the things that are going through my head when I hear what has been causing A LOT of my problems including but not limited to ... acne, sleep apnea (which isn't 100% positive I have it, but another test I have to go for), irregular cycle ... after all of this negative ... let me tell you where my head went ...

A LOT more things make sense about me now.  Instead of going to the doctor and her coming back to me saying "we don't know what's wrong" it was the opposite ... don't get me wrong, I don't want there to be something wrong, but knowing what it is allows me to get better and be me again.  It allows me to know what's wrong and fix and change things I am doing. 

So back to the point of this ... saying goodbye to gluten ... I have gone off gluten before, and I felt fabulous!  So, being celiac ... maybe not such a bad thing (trying to be positive here!).  I have decided to take the approach that it's not "look how many things I cannot eat" or "this is so hard, gluten is in everything" it's going to be "I have to alter and adjust what I eat, but at the end of the day I'm going to feel so much better". 
Because being "gluten-free" is a fad ... there are so many more alternatives then there used to be.  The flip side of that is because it's a fad a lot of people don't take you seriously when you have a severe allergy (buttttt ... that can be a rant for another day!).

Going back to my last appointment with my doctor ... yea it was horrible news, but again my doctor is so amazing and so encouraging ... she is celiac herself, so she is an awesome resource to have. 


All in all it's been a month of bad news ... despite having a rocky, negative start ... I am committed to being positive about the change in my life and looking at it as a healthier lifestyle.

Now to address the worry, fear, anxiety ..

There isn't much I could have done to avoid this.  And I have to keep believing that God has a plan for me, even my health, but He will never give me more than I can handle.  This seems hard right now, but with His strength, this will be easy.  He is bigger than PCOS or celiac disease.  


So for now it's ta-ta gluten and hello healthy living!

much love, b


Monday, January 19, 2015

happy monday loves

happy monday loves!

it's the confidence you portray 
even when you don't feel confident,
if you believe somewhere deep down that you are
...  
it will show

let your sparkle shine today!

"confidence is the most beautiful thing a girl can wear"




-much love, b